Confusion
by Darkness's Angel
Summary: Always the same, but always differing. HHrR


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Confusion

Summary - Always the same, but always differing.

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Disclaimer - I don't own Harry Potter.

It was always the same, yet always different. Confusing, yet confused itself. She would figure out one thing, but then her heart would tell her something different, something new. It was like forever changing her mind, never settling, and because it was that, she hated it.

She hated not being able to understand. She hated not being in control. She hated not knowing something, but mostly she hadn't letting her feelings run wild. She wasn't like that. She was the sophisticated one, the calm one, the one who always had all the answers. She **_couldn't _**afford to mess up, yet this time she had.

She was always so careful. She always made sure her feelings stayed unknown, yet for some reason she let it slip, yet that was enough, enough to change everything. She should be lucky. To not only know one love in her lifetime, but two. However, she despised it, and she despised herself.

One was so passionate, so lively, so unexpected. It was always knew. They always argued, and always thrived on out doing the other. They had this mysteriousness and this tolerable relationship. This one came first.

Then there was the second. The more calm, cool, and shy kind. She didn't even see it coming. They knew each other to the point where no words needed to be spoken. She could laugh, tease, and cry with him. She could tell him whatever she wanted, he was her best friend. That she supposed, maybe was the reason why when she discovered this, it came at such a shock.

She sat down on the red couch. She started to compare the two. With the first, there was not sweetness, nor shyness. It was always intense in every single way. In the second, there was no burning longing, nor wild emotions. With one, her emotions were uncontrolled, with the other, they were new, and inexperienced.

She shook her head sadly, knowing there was no way to chose. She wanted a bit of both, and maybe if she had been two people, everyone would be happy, though, that was something she was not. She couldn't be the same thing to both of them. To one she needed to their best friend, to the other, an insignificant other.

Maybe this would have been easier if she had never fallen for the second one, even more so if she hadn't fallen the first time in all actuality. Yet she did. She closed her eyes, silently wishing that this huge problem would vanish into thin air.

You see, she would never wish it on any other person, not even Draco Malfoy, because it was such a painful matter. Either way, she'd lose one of them, and gain more of the second. If she chose the fiery, intense one, she'd be going with her wild emotions, but if she went with the shy, calm one, she'd be going with her head. the question though, was not which emotions, or logically analysis should she use, it was which one held her heart.

She opened her eyes again. and looked around. She knew the problem would not disappear, at least not until she could answer that question, or rather until she could answer that question **_fairly_**.

For, unfortunately for her, the both had a special place in her heart, but for different reasons. The intense one, for his loud aggressive behavior, and his uncanny quirkiness. The calm one, for his respectful attitude, and his ability to put everyone, and everything before him. Sighing again, she dropped her head into her hands, for once she couldn't understand, for once she was the unsure one, for once she didn't have the answer.

To be honest in all aspects, she was afraid of that one simple fact. She moved her head from her hands, yet still looking down at the ground. She heard the portrait hole slam open, and heard the footsteps walk, or run quickly inside. She did not look up when the running stopped, nor did she look up when the source of the footsteps stood in front of her. She didn't look up at all.

She heard of them try and speak, yet she didn't listen. She wasn't purposely tuning out their voices, but she had to if she was going to make a decision, one final choice. The three stayed like that for a long time, how long exactly she didn't know. In fact, she had been lost in her own little word the entire time, that she didn't even realized that day had turned to night until she heard the footsteps walking away from her. That's when she looked up.

See glanced around the room once, then her attention lingered on the once blazing fire. It was now mostly ash, yet a few flames still lingered there, as if waiting for her. She stood up, and walked over to the fire place, leaning close to it, but staying careful not to touch the flame. She blew softly on it, making the flame go out, darkening the Common Room.

She turned, and walked slowly up the stairs to her room, stopping in the middle of the flight. She glanced around once more, before disappearing through the door.

Confusing, yet confused it was, never the same, but never different.

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Author's Note - This was a short little fic I rote because of new confusing things. It is based upon true facts, at least the feelings behind it are. It was very unexpected, and completely unplanned. Hermione is obviously she, Ron is the intense one, and Harry is the calm one, just incase you didn't pick up on that. Hope you all enjoyed it, and it didn't confuse you too much. Please review! =) Check out my other one-shot Burn.


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